
My new name evidently....I was asked today why I was so down by not one but three people. My reply "just overworked." I don't want to complain about the endless days that I put in at work or at home. I feel like my to do list is a endless pit. I really don't want to complain or gripe on here because that just makes me feel worse like I can't handle what has been dealt to me. My true problem is that I am a perfectionist and every "t" has to be crossed and "i" dotted. I can't handle doing something knowing that I won't be able to do it with 100% effort. This is both a flaw and attribute to my character. I guess the reason for my depressed state of mind results from unhappiness in certain areas of my life that I can not change. I feel trapped in some ways in the situation I am in. I am stuck at my job carrying all the responsibilities that I assume out of necessity. I have to coach to make end meet. I do the extra duties of team leader not for a monetary reason (since I get nothing for it) but out of obligation to my boss. I mentor, teach, counsel, mother, comfort, listen, encourage, motivate, tutor, and translate because that is my job as a teacher. Then when I get home I have to have enough energy for my two rambuctious toddlers who want mommy to play with them all evening. So between cooking dinner, cleaning up, laundry, catching up on daily duties, helping Hubby with school work and playing with my kids I'm supposed to teach my own kids their ABCs, numbers, colors, shapes, and how to use the potty.
I am ready for a change. I know I will get some relief when Hubby graduates. However he informed me the other day that unless he gets a really good paying job I will still have to work. Hopefully it will only be part time. But I have a feeling that won't happen. I think I will have to do the same thing again next year. If I do I will grin and bear it. But believe I am ready to hand over the torch,which isn't burning very bright whenever he is ready :)
The most I can wish for in life is that things will be better tomorrow.